Letting Go of the Need to Please: A Personal Reflection on Power and Self-Worth

  Letting Go of the Need to Please: A Personal Reflection on Power and Self-Worth

SueSue

For a long time, I’ve found myself stuck in a habit—one that I’m finally ready to name and change. I’ve been chasing approval from those in power. Whether it’s a boss, supervisor, or someone I admire, I’ve often gone out of my way to please them—sometimes without realizing the cost to myself.

I’ve noticed that I tend to say too many good things about others, especially those in leadership roles. I over-appreciate even the smallest gestures. If someone in power acknowledges me, gives me a little time, or helps me with something minor, I amplify it. I make it feel like they’ve moved mountains, even if they just nudged a pebble.

This behavior doesn’t come from insincerity—it comes from a place of wanting to be liked, seen, and valued. But I’ve begun to understand that constantly seeking validation, especially from those in different power positions, puts me in a vulnerable and often unhealthy dynamic. It skews the balance, blurs boundaries, and chips away at my self-respect.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize:

• Pleasing others doesn’t guarantee peace. It often leaves me emotionally exhausted and uncertain of my own worth.

• Overpraising reinforces a power imbalance. It makes me smaller while placing others on unnecessary pedestals.

• Validation is temporary. If it doesn’t come from within, no amount of praise or acknowledgment from others will be enough.

• Genuine connection doesn’t require over-efforting. Mutual respect, not exaggerated appreciation, is what builds lasting relationships—professional or otherwise.

This isn’t easy to admit. But growth often begins with honesty. I’m learning to:

• Pause before reacting.

• Acknowledge my own contributions without downplaying them.

• Say “thank you” without turning it into a speech.

• Compliment others without losing myself in the process.

I deserve to walk into a room and know that I am enough without having to prove it or perform for it.

This is my commitment to myself: I will stop chasing. I will stop over-praising. I will recognize the difference between respect and over-pleasing. And I will start showing up for myself the way I’ve always shown up for others.